I view being from the city of New Orleans as a privilege and an honor. I cannot fathom being from any other place in the entire world. I have great affection for Charity Hospital, to which I was born on September 8, 1979. The name suggests exactly that. It was a place where people without any medical insurance could get care. Notice that I used the word "was" when referring to the hospital. Charity sits in Downtown New Orleans, and you can probably imagine that it suffered significant damage during Hurricane Katrina in 2005. Despite it being cleaned up to standard, the state of Louisiana (politicians) determined that it would not re-open. You can make your own assumptions as to the reasons why. I personally have my own, but that is not what we're here for.
Due to my father being in the Air Force, and myself ultimately enlisting in the Army, I have been all over the country, and the world for that matter. So I can honestly say this with all sincerity; there is no place with the uniqueness, mystique, atmosphere, history, and culture of New Orleans. No matter where I'm at in the world, when people find out where I'm from, they usually have a hundred and one questions for me. Some of them even say how much they enjoyed visiting New Orleans and that they've never had so much fun. Others say they never been but desperately want to go. One of the questions that I cannot escape is this question: Is the violence in New Orleans as bad as they say it is?
Whenever I get asked about the violence in New Orleans, I give it to them straight with no chaser. I think of Master P saying boastfully in one of his songs, "the murder capital of the world so fool watch yo back." To be honest, I really wish that I could cast New Orleans' violence as urban legend or myth. But anyone affiliated with New Orleans knows that would be lie of significant proportion on my behalf.
New Orleans is a place where people love to be from, but desperately want to leave. It also is a place where many don't know how to leave, and have never left, literally! I was one to always say that I would move away. I just couldn't imagine raising a family in an area ravaged with crime so badly that it seems to be the norm. I couldn't imagine raising a family in an area where the police departments (NOPD specifically) are corrupt, and involve themselves in more criminal activity then the criminals they are sworn to protect the city's citizens from. Most of you know about police departments in major cities like the NYPD and the LAPD. So if you're not familiar with the NOPD, let me tell you that its history of corruption, criminal activity, and violence amongst its officers is mind blowing and real! I also couldn't imagine raising a family where the education system ranks among the lowest in the country.
In New Orleans, there is a motto; "get it how you live." What that basically means is this; however you live or whatever you choose to do (lifestyle wise), that is how the fortunes or misfortunes of life come your way. For example: If you have a job making your money legally and don't involve yourself in any illegal activity, then most likely no hurt, harm, or danger should come your way. But if you indulge in criminal activity like selling drugs, carjacking, burglarizing homes and such, you will reap the consequences of that type of life--that usually being actions of violence brought to you, and/or jail. I find that motto to be half true when talking about life in New Orleans. How can you explain two year old babies getting killed by gunfire? How do you explain an eight year old being murdered by his mother's boyfriend because that eight year old was protecting his mother from being beaten by that savage, heartless, gutless person? How do you explain a family going to have dinner and being carjacked and robbed of their possessions? None of these scenarios are scenarios where the individual(s) were "getting it how they lived."
I only write this blog because of my extreme love for the city of New Orleans, and my desire for the people within it to change. Change their viewpoints and ways of thinking. The new year is here, and what I am about to state is a very sad but true fact. By the time the first week of the new year has concluded, the city of New Orleans will have more homicides then most places will have by late summer. I've been places when the sixth homicide was reported on the news about July or August. New Orleans can average about 4-6 homicides a day. I don't know what the record of homicides in a day is, but I remember in the early 2000's New Orleans having a day in which there were about 15 or 16 homicides in one day. I want you to sit on that for a second. I've been to a war zone (Iraq) and we experienced days where there were absolutely no bloodshed or loss of life. And just like the enemy likes to carry in Iraq, the AK-47, or the chopper as known in New Orleans, is used like a debit card is used at a store. I once read in JET Magazine how a middle school kid was arrested for bringing an AK-47 to school. I'm sure that it wasn't for show and tell either.
I know my plea may not reach many, but I plea for my people to stop the violence. Stop the activity that brings violence not only upon you, but your family. If you truly love your family, think about the possible consequences because of your decisions. In particular, my black males. If you're from New Orleans you have lost a family member or friend to violence. This too, sadly is a fact and I am no different. I have lost a family member and friends to gun violence. So I know about the pain and the never ending cycle that happens in New Orleans. Here is what I wanna ask my brothers: When you take a life, what do you ultimately accomplish? I remember when my cousin was murdered there were people that wanted revenge for his murder. I can remember feeling sick to my stomach because of that. Our family was already suffering because of the loss of our loved one. Why continue the cycle?
If there were a list of endangered cities, I'm sure that New Orleans would be atop that list. No other way to put it than genocide is taking place. I know that may seem too harsh of a word, but I don't believe it is in this case. And it is happening right on American soil. But I wonder how much America really cares about what happens in New Orleans. If you remember, New Orleanians were thought of and referred to as refugees after Hurricane Katrina. Added on top of the fact of the slow response to aid people after such a horrific natural disaster. So why would I believe that New Orleans is a priority to America.
I want all of my folks in New Orleans that are hopeless or don't believe that their conditions can possibly change to do something for me. I want you to go outside and look at the beautiful blue sky. That blue sky is the same blue sky that people are looking at in Beverly Hills, The Hamptons, an affluent suburb in Atlanta, in Italy, in Dubai, and all over God's green earth. I say look at that sky because that sky represents endless possibilities for you and your families. You're not in a box! The sky represents that as well. Break generational curses that plague families generation after generation. IT IS POSSIBLE! Put down your drugs and guns. Pick up books and learn about your rich heritage that built a wonderful jewel in the Crescent City aka New Orleans. Preserve and honor that heritage by being law abiding and productive citizens. But the change has to come within you first. As you can see, sometimes we is all we got. If Frederick Douglass (a former slave) can make it out of his circumstance and impact the world in a positive way, what makes you think that you can't? Anything is possible! You have the power and ability to achieve it, NO MATTER what it is! I pray that I see brighter days for you New Orleans. Do you?
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Do Men Know What They Want?
If you're a fan, or a daily listener of Michael Baisden, then this subject matter sounds very familiar to you. I'm taking a page from his series titled: Do Women Know What They Want? I'm just flipping it to give the opposite sex insight on what it is that us men want, need, and if we do know what it is that we want.
As I watched the show, I noticed that when the question was posed to men and women alike, everyone agreed that women do know what they want. Not one person said that women do not know what they want. I'm sure--no, scratch that--I know that if that same question was about men, the majority of the people polled would've said that men don't know what they want. In particular, women would've answered no more than men. Why is that? Do men really not know what they want? If you ask me--more men know what they want then some of you give credit for. Actually, I err on the side that men know what they want more than women. Now, this is strictly about what men want in a woman, or, from a woman.
I, and men that I know, know exactly what we want from women. I'm not talking about young men barely over the age of 21 that's still trying to figure out their major in college. In my opinion, by the time a man hits the age of 28, he should pretty much know exactly what it is that he wants and needs from a woman. Not to say that some don't figure it out before then. What women need to realize is that even though we're masculine and dominant figures, we're really not that complex.
Listen up ladies, because I'm about to tell you what it is exactly that we want from our women. Are you ready? Okay, grab a chair. We want a woman who is intelligent, has goals, willing to contribute. We're not looking for a woman to make us rich. We're not looking for a woman who will add material things to our life. But most of all--we want a woman to love us unconditionally. Through thick and through thin--when times get rough and we is all we got. Here's another little secret ladies; as much as we try not to let on, we (men) are emotional creatures and we need to feel validated at times just like you. Listen to the song "Lost Without You" by Robin Thicke. He is basically telling his woman how he wants her to show him how he makes her feel. He wants to know how attracted she is to him. Men want to know that his woman is still as attracted to him like she was when they first started dating. Sound familiar?
Everyone wants to feel appreciated for what they do or bring to the table. Men are no different. Just like women, men want an honest, loyal, and dedicated woman in his corner. And regardless of what some may think, real men who are secure in themselves, are not intimidated by an independent woman. Matter of fact, we encourage that! No man (I know) wants a woman that can't stand on her own two feet when need be. Some women have this idea that if you make your own money and have your own place then you're independent. That's true in part. Let me not get stuck on the independent woman. Almost forgot that I have already written a blog about her. Back to the matter at hand...
Are there men out there who do not know what they want? Of course! There are women out there who do not have a clue as well. This overwhelming notion that women know what they want more than men is ridiculous to me. I'm not trying to come off as if I think that women don't know what they want, because I do think that they know--just not all of them. Can anybody tell me what it is that Kim Kardashian wants? How about Jennifer Lopez? And what in the hell does Chilli from TLC want? That leads me to my next point...A man will take a woman regardless of what she doesn't have, or, despite her situation. A woman needs to know these things before she decides to go any further with a man: Where does he work? How much does he make? What is his future earning potential? Does he he have benefits? Does he have kids? What kind of car does he drive? How big his penis is? What is his credit score? Not that none of these questions aren't relevant questions--my point is that a man will take a woman with not much to offer because he simply loves that woman before a woman would take a man with not much to offer. No matter how much you (ladies) try to debate me on this, it won't work. This is not to say that this is true for all women. A few ladies that I follow on twitter have no jobs and don't go to school. Yet, they tweet all day about what's on t.v. and what's going on in the entertainment world. All of these women are in relationships. Not that that proves my point totally--I'm just saying.
I want a woman that has a personality that makes me smile when I'm not even around her. I want a woman who knows how to give better than receive. I want a woman who is not afraid to love me hard without hesitation. I want a woman who is going to tell me what I need to hear when I need to hear it. I want a woman who loves God with all of her soul. I want a woman who is going to believe in me and when she walks with me, you can tell that she is proud of her man. I want a woman who is going to peek my every interest. I want a woman I can just lay with, and there is no sound but the raindrops on the window and our voices--talking about random things. I want a woman who wants me because she sees my heart before she sees me physically. I want...my best friend.
As I watched the show, I noticed that when the question was posed to men and women alike, everyone agreed that women do know what they want. Not one person said that women do not know what they want. I'm sure--no, scratch that--I know that if that same question was about men, the majority of the people polled would've said that men don't know what they want. In particular, women would've answered no more than men. Why is that? Do men really not know what they want? If you ask me--more men know what they want then some of you give credit for. Actually, I err on the side that men know what they want more than women. Now, this is strictly about what men want in a woman, or, from a woman.
I, and men that I know, know exactly what we want from women. I'm not talking about young men barely over the age of 21 that's still trying to figure out their major in college. In my opinion, by the time a man hits the age of 28, he should pretty much know exactly what it is that he wants and needs from a woman. Not to say that some don't figure it out before then. What women need to realize is that even though we're masculine and dominant figures, we're really not that complex.
Listen up ladies, because I'm about to tell you what it is exactly that we want from our women. Are you ready? Okay, grab a chair. We want a woman who is intelligent, has goals, willing to contribute. We're not looking for a woman to make us rich. We're not looking for a woman who will add material things to our life. But most of all--we want a woman to love us unconditionally. Through thick and through thin--when times get rough and we is all we got. Here's another little secret ladies; as much as we try not to let on, we (men) are emotional creatures and we need to feel validated at times just like you. Listen to the song "Lost Without You" by Robin Thicke. He is basically telling his woman how he wants her to show him how he makes her feel. He wants to know how attracted she is to him. Men want to know that his woman is still as attracted to him like she was when they first started dating. Sound familiar?
Everyone wants to feel appreciated for what they do or bring to the table. Men are no different. Just like women, men want an honest, loyal, and dedicated woman in his corner. And regardless of what some may think, real men who are secure in themselves, are not intimidated by an independent woman. Matter of fact, we encourage that! No man (I know) wants a woman that can't stand on her own two feet when need be. Some women have this idea that if you make your own money and have your own place then you're independent. That's true in part. Let me not get stuck on the independent woman. Almost forgot that I have already written a blog about her. Back to the matter at hand...
Are there men out there who do not know what they want? Of course! There are women out there who do not have a clue as well. This overwhelming notion that women know what they want more than men is ridiculous to me. I'm not trying to come off as if I think that women don't know what they want, because I do think that they know--just not all of them. Can anybody tell me what it is that Kim Kardashian wants? How about Jennifer Lopez? And what in the hell does Chilli from TLC want? That leads me to my next point...A man will take a woman regardless of what she doesn't have, or, despite her situation. A woman needs to know these things before she decides to go any further with a man: Where does he work? How much does he make? What is his future earning potential? Does he he have benefits? Does he have kids? What kind of car does he drive? How big his penis is? What is his credit score? Not that none of these questions aren't relevant questions--my point is that a man will take a woman with not much to offer because he simply loves that woman before a woman would take a man with not much to offer. No matter how much you (ladies) try to debate me on this, it won't work. This is not to say that this is true for all women. A few ladies that I follow on twitter have no jobs and don't go to school. Yet, they tweet all day about what's on t.v. and what's going on in the entertainment world. All of these women are in relationships. Not that that proves my point totally--I'm just saying.
I want a woman that has a personality that makes me smile when I'm not even around her. I want a woman who knows how to give better than receive. I want a woman who is not afraid to love me hard without hesitation. I want a woman who is going to tell me what I need to hear when I need to hear it. I want a woman who loves God with all of her soul. I want a woman who is going to believe in me and when she walks with me, you can tell that she is proud of her man. I want a woman who is going to peek my every interest. I want a woman I can just lay with, and there is no sound but the raindrops on the window and our voices--talking about random things. I want a woman who wants me because she sees my heart before she sees me physically. I want...my best friend.
Friday, October 21, 2011
My Open Heart To You
I know that those of you who keep up with my blog have been looking for other blogs that I said I would be posting. Truth is, while writing some blogs, I get led to write about another topic that's on my heart. This time is no different. I kinda wanted to open up to you on this blog to give you a more personal look at the man Craig Wilson II. I have several blogs that are unfinished or just not posted because I was led to go in another direction. Maybe one day someone will collect my writings and post them all when I'm gone from this earth. But anyway...
Since I have started to share my personal thoughts and views with you through my blog, I have been rewarded greatly. No, not monetarily or anything. The feedback and support from people have been a blessing to me. It has strengthened and given me confidence in myself and my abilities. Something that I have lacked at times in my life (confidence). I grew up a shy kid, so confidence wasn't always my biggest attribute. Breaking out of this shell has been a slow process.
I'm a man of many interests and passions. Some of them include: cooking, writing, reading, sports, music, and my family. The state of black men and boys is a deep passion of mine as well. Or, the critical state of the black man, for that matter. Many may not realize it, but, we (black men) are quickly approaching the endangered species list as if we were cheetahs in the wilds of Africa. But let me go on because I can make this blog about that subject.
I've been blessed with the most wonderful, loving, and caring family that any individual would be proud to call family. I love and care for them very deeply. I could NEVER repay them for all that they have done for me. And I mean the entire Smith and Wilson Family. I wake up everyday and thank God for them because I have come to the realization that everyone hasn't been blessed with the kind of family that I have been blessed with. If I ever get in the position, I will do everything in my power to take care of my family. Lord knows that they all deserve it. This includes people who are not my blood relatives, but are my family still the same--they know exactly who they are.
Just like the rest of you, I am flawed but beautifully made. I know exactly where my strengths and weaknesses lie. I embrace them and try to improve on them daily. Many of us try to dismiss our weaknesses and focus on our strong points. The best way to strive for perfection is to master your imperfections. Not to say that the end product of you will be perfection--because I'm sure that I do not have to say that no one will ever be perfect except for our Father in Heaven. Here are some strengths and weaknesses of mine: I am passionate about loving and very loyal (almost to a fault). If I've ever told you that I love you once, I mean it for life. Regardless what may happen between us--I will love you still the same. I have the ability to be optimistic in any situation. Regardless of what you may think the outcome will be, I have strong faith that the Lord will ultimately take care of me and my needs. I'm very smart and respectful and I can basically blend in anywhere. On the flip side, I am a habitual procrastinator. That is the one thing that I cannot stand about myself and I work to change everyday. The other thing is that I am absolutely afraid of failing and disappointment. I'm more afraid of failing and disappointing my loved ones more than myself. To me there's nothing that hurts my soul more than to look into the eyes of a disappointed loved one, knowing that you caused it.
Since I am on the subject of failing and disappointment--I have never felt more disappointment and more like a failure then when I was going through my divorce. I felt like I failed myself, my children, my now ex-wife, my mother and father, my brother who looks up to me, and anybody who knew me and my ex-wife. I still feel that hurt to a certain degree because of the continued pain that my children have experienced due to the separation. I pray everyday for that feeling of failure to disappear from my heart. It's been a long process for me, but God heals a part of me everyday. In the past, failures and feeling like a failure has caused me to endure a depressed state of mind. So I ask that you guys pray for me as I rebuild myself and my life to a place that is comfortable to me and my family.
I am a softy at heart and there are a few things that will absolutely get to me. Those things are: 1) seeing or hearing my kids cry 2) seeing or hearing any woman that I love or is close to me cry 3) the abuse or murder of children 4) homeless/hungry people. It absolutely hurts my heart when I see someone who is in need of a meal, or a roof over their head, when I have both. I just feel like with the wealth that people have all over the world, there should be no souls hungry or looking for shelter from the cold and elements.
I really enjoyed taking a brief moment just to give you a quick look at me. I pray that all of you who read and support me are blessed beyond your thoughts and imagination. Standing rooted in faith will take you places that you never thought was possible. Believe me, I am a testimony to that in many retrospects. Keep your dreams and visions near to your heart where you will feed them with your hard work, dedication, and faith. It's okay if no one sees your dream like you do. God placed it in your heart for a reason. Nurture it and never let it go. God bless and I love you all!
Since I have started to share my personal thoughts and views with you through my blog, I have been rewarded greatly. No, not monetarily or anything. The feedback and support from people have been a blessing to me. It has strengthened and given me confidence in myself and my abilities. Something that I have lacked at times in my life (confidence). I grew up a shy kid, so confidence wasn't always my biggest attribute. Breaking out of this shell has been a slow process.
I'm a man of many interests and passions. Some of them include: cooking, writing, reading, sports, music, and my family. The state of black men and boys is a deep passion of mine as well. Or, the critical state of the black man, for that matter. Many may not realize it, but, we (black men) are quickly approaching the endangered species list as if we were cheetahs in the wilds of Africa. But let me go on because I can make this blog about that subject.
I've been blessed with the most wonderful, loving, and caring family that any individual would be proud to call family. I love and care for them very deeply. I could NEVER repay them for all that they have done for me. And I mean the entire Smith and Wilson Family. I wake up everyday and thank God for them because I have come to the realization that everyone hasn't been blessed with the kind of family that I have been blessed with. If I ever get in the position, I will do everything in my power to take care of my family. Lord knows that they all deserve it. This includes people who are not my blood relatives, but are my family still the same--they know exactly who they are.
Just like the rest of you, I am flawed but beautifully made. I know exactly where my strengths and weaknesses lie. I embrace them and try to improve on them daily. Many of us try to dismiss our weaknesses and focus on our strong points. The best way to strive for perfection is to master your imperfections. Not to say that the end product of you will be perfection--because I'm sure that I do not have to say that no one will ever be perfect except for our Father in Heaven. Here are some strengths and weaknesses of mine: I am passionate about loving and very loyal (almost to a fault). If I've ever told you that I love you once, I mean it for life. Regardless what may happen between us--I will love you still the same. I have the ability to be optimistic in any situation. Regardless of what you may think the outcome will be, I have strong faith that the Lord will ultimately take care of me and my needs. I'm very smart and respectful and I can basically blend in anywhere. On the flip side, I am a habitual procrastinator. That is the one thing that I cannot stand about myself and I work to change everyday. The other thing is that I am absolutely afraid of failing and disappointment. I'm more afraid of failing and disappointing my loved ones more than myself. To me there's nothing that hurts my soul more than to look into the eyes of a disappointed loved one, knowing that you caused it.
Since I am on the subject of failing and disappointment--I have never felt more disappointment and more like a failure then when I was going through my divorce. I felt like I failed myself, my children, my now ex-wife, my mother and father, my brother who looks up to me, and anybody who knew me and my ex-wife. I still feel that hurt to a certain degree because of the continued pain that my children have experienced due to the separation. I pray everyday for that feeling of failure to disappear from my heart. It's been a long process for me, but God heals a part of me everyday. In the past, failures and feeling like a failure has caused me to endure a depressed state of mind. So I ask that you guys pray for me as I rebuild myself and my life to a place that is comfortable to me and my family.
I am a softy at heart and there are a few things that will absolutely get to me. Those things are: 1) seeing or hearing my kids cry 2) seeing or hearing any woman that I love or is close to me cry 3) the abuse or murder of children 4) homeless/hungry people. It absolutely hurts my heart when I see someone who is in need of a meal, or a roof over their head, when I have both. I just feel like with the wealth that people have all over the world, there should be no souls hungry or looking for shelter from the cold and elements.
I really enjoyed taking a brief moment just to give you a quick look at me. I pray that all of you who read and support me are blessed beyond your thoughts and imagination. Standing rooted in faith will take you places that you never thought was possible. Believe me, I am a testimony to that in many retrospects. Keep your dreams and visions near to your heart where you will feed them with your hard work, dedication, and faith. It's okay if no one sees your dream like you do. God placed it in your heart for a reason. Nurture it and never let it go. God bless and I love you all!
Friday, September 23, 2011
Her Name Is Justice: She's Not Blind
On September 21, 2011 at 11:08 p.m., Brother Troy Davis was executed for the 1989 murder of police officer Mark MacPhail. Before I go on, I must pay my respects to Officer MacPhail and his family. That man did not deserve to die as he was doing his duty breaking up a fight. His family did not deserve to lose their loved one to a senseless act of violence. I pray that your soul is resting beautifully with our Lord and Savior, Officer MacPhail.
With all due respect to Officer MacPhail and his family, this piece is about bringing the true offender of this crime to justice. I'm not sure that was done when Troy Davis was executed on 9/21/2011. Quite frankly, I don't think that the State of Georgia can say that they laid the true offender to rest themselves. In my opinion, the doubt that loomed over this case was large enough to not only not execute this man, but grant him a new trial. Instead, the State of Georgia unjustly (in my opinion) executed a man that was in all probability innocent. The more that I have learned about this case, the stronger I can say this with conviction.
The other reason I am writing this is because of the socially immature people that need to wake up. Since I have joined the social networking world, I've come to the realization that people: 1) don't know what's going on 2) don't wanna know what's going on 3) don't care what's going on. I realize that I dwell amongst a generation of people who are filled with a toxic combination of complacency and entitlement. The work that our ancestors started many years ago is still not finished. The torch has been passed to us to carry on with the fight. Problem is, many think that we've already won. If we continue on this path, the weed of complacency will strangle the life out of us.
As I read tweets on Twitter the day Troy Davis was to be executed, I became very angry at the ignorant mentality of a lot of folk. Many didn't care because in their words; they didn't know him, and it didn't concern them. If you remotely think that the blatant miscarriage of justice doesn't concern you, then you're sadly mistaken. Many people spoke, or, tweeted without any real knowledge of the situation at hand. You must understand that this could've been any one of us. The next time it can be me, you, my brother, cousin, or even any one of my sons. This is why it is imperative that we carry on the fight against an oppressed system.
As a black man, I've been profiled many times. I'm not flashy, don't wear my pants below my behind, don't wear bling, don't blast my music, don't have one tattoo or piercing. I'm an ordinary citizen just like many of you who actually has served this country called the United States of America. But I know that as long as my skin color stays this color, I will have to deal with certain things. Some will say; "why do you have to make it about color?" If you know me, then you know that I deal with facts. It is a fact that since Africans were brought to the New World (America) in the 1600's in the transatlantic slave trade, it has always been about color. As black men, we've dealt with this and swallowed the pill that you've (America) force fed us. Now it's time for America to swallow this man made elixir. Now let me get something else straight. Brothers: "The Man" cannot hold you down if you never fill out any job applications, or, apply to any schools. Some brothers use that; "the man is holding a black man down" excuse but are not actively pursuing a better life. And that is exactly what it turns out to be--an excuse.
If some of you don't think that color has played a part, ask the families of Emmett Till, Medgar Evers, James Byrd Jr., and Troy Davis. You can even ask the families of our white brothers Andrew Goodman and Michael Schwerner who were murdered with fellow civil rights worker and black man James Chaney in Mississppi in 1964. If you've seen the movie Mississippi Burning then you know what I am referring to.
People ask if I would feel the same if it were a white man. Of course I would! Injustice is injustice, no matter the race of the person. Problem is, who has historically been on the side of injustice? Ask the family of Sean Bell. A black man who was killed by NYPD as he and his friends left his bachelor party. Sean Bell and his friends were fired upon a total of 50 times when none of them had a weapon. Ask the families of the victims of the shootings on the Danziger Bridge in my hometown of New Orleans, LA after Hurricane Katrina. Six people were shot (all African-Americans), two were killed, in which one of them was Ronald Madison. Madison was a 40 year old mentally disabled man who was shot in the back while he was seeking safety. Ask the family of Oscar Grant. Grant was killed by a BART police officer in Oakland, CA. Grant was forced down by police, kneed in the neck, then shot by one of the officers. Grant was merely an unarmed citizen breaking up a fight. Instead, he ended up dying at the hands of a police officer. I know that these examples are of black men. But, it doesn't stop there. The poor and disenfranchised are subject to injustice as well--no matter what race or ethnicity you may be.
I must say that I still feel that our judicial system is the best around. But it is still flawed and imperfect. Is anything or anyone perfect? No! That doesn't mean that we should just accept a flawed system that jails and executes innocent citizens. Everyday that you get up, you strive to be better than the day before. That should be true of our judicial system as well. Who wants to get locked up for crimes that they didn't commit? Not me! Who wants to be executed for a crime they didn't commit? Definitely not me!
In Troy Davis' case, I believe that this man was innocent. The witnesses that have come forth changing or recanting their statements suggest so as well. I know that they're countless inmates in prison with claims of being innocent of the crimes that they have been charged with. I'm well aware that some or most of the them are full of it. But lets not be naive to the fact that there are not people sitting in jail/prison who are actually innocent. Of course there are! That isn't justice when an innocent individual is sitting in a cell for a crime that they didn't commit. Actually, that's a tragedy. Some have tweeted me on twitter for my beliefs in Troy Davis. Fact is, many people have been exonerated after sitting in prison for years after it came to light that the individual was actually innocent. So I, and all of the Troy Davis supporters out there are not crazy for supporting and believing in this mans innocence.
Please do not make the mistake of not educating yourself and your family on social issues. These issues do concern you and everyone around you. If you've ever been to any courthouse across America you would probably see Lady Justice with the scales even in her right hand and a blindfold over her eyes. This is to signify that justice is blind and it dishes out justice regardless of race, gender, or class. Be careful, because I think she's peeking over her blindfold.
~R.I.P. Troy Davis October 9, 1968-September 21, 2011 murdered by the State of Georgia by lethal injection.
With all due respect to Officer MacPhail and his family, this piece is about bringing the true offender of this crime to justice. I'm not sure that was done when Troy Davis was executed on 9/21/2011. Quite frankly, I don't think that the State of Georgia can say that they laid the true offender to rest themselves. In my opinion, the doubt that loomed over this case was large enough to not only not execute this man, but grant him a new trial. Instead, the State of Georgia unjustly (in my opinion) executed a man that was in all probability innocent. The more that I have learned about this case, the stronger I can say this with conviction.
The other reason I am writing this is because of the socially immature people that need to wake up. Since I have joined the social networking world, I've come to the realization that people: 1) don't know what's going on 2) don't wanna know what's going on 3) don't care what's going on. I realize that I dwell amongst a generation of people who are filled with a toxic combination of complacency and entitlement. The work that our ancestors started many years ago is still not finished. The torch has been passed to us to carry on with the fight. Problem is, many think that we've already won. If we continue on this path, the weed of complacency will strangle the life out of us.
As I read tweets on Twitter the day Troy Davis was to be executed, I became very angry at the ignorant mentality of a lot of folk. Many didn't care because in their words; they didn't know him, and it didn't concern them. If you remotely think that the blatant miscarriage of justice doesn't concern you, then you're sadly mistaken. Many people spoke, or, tweeted without any real knowledge of the situation at hand. You must understand that this could've been any one of us. The next time it can be me, you, my brother, cousin, or even any one of my sons. This is why it is imperative that we carry on the fight against an oppressed system.
As a black man, I've been profiled many times. I'm not flashy, don't wear my pants below my behind, don't wear bling, don't blast my music, don't have one tattoo or piercing. I'm an ordinary citizen just like many of you who actually has served this country called the United States of America. But I know that as long as my skin color stays this color, I will have to deal with certain things. Some will say; "why do you have to make it about color?" If you know me, then you know that I deal with facts. It is a fact that since Africans were brought to the New World (America) in the 1600's in the transatlantic slave trade, it has always been about color. As black men, we've dealt with this and swallowed the pill that you've (America) force fed us. Now it's time for America to swallow this man made elixir. Now let me get something else straight. Brothers: "The Man" cannot hold you down if you never fill out any job applications, or, apply to any schools. Some brothers use that; "the man is holding a black man down" excuse but are not actively pursuing a better life. And that is exactly what it turns out to be--an excuse.
If some of you don't think that color has played a part, ask the families of Emmett Till, Medgar Evers, James Byrd Jr., and Troy Davis. You can even ask the families of our white brothers Andrew Goodman and Michael Schwerner who were murdered with fellow civil rights worker and black man James Chaney in Mississppi in 1964. If you've seen the movie Mississippi Burning then you know what I am referring to.
People ask if I would feel the same if it were a white man. Of course I would! Injustice is injustice, no matter the race of the person. Problem is, who has historically been on the side of injustice? Ask the family of Sean Bell. A black man who was killed by NYPD as he and his friends left his bachelor party. Sean Bell and his friends were fired upon a total of 50 times when none of them had a weapon. Ask the families of the victims of the shootings on the Danziger Bridge in my hometown of New Orleans, LA after Hurricane Katrina. Six people were shot (all African-Americans), two were killed, in which one of them was Ronald Madison. Madison was a 40 year old mentally disabled man who was shot in the back while he was seeking safety. Ask the family of Oscar Grant. Grant was killed by a BART police officer in Oakland, CA. Grant was forced down by police, kneed in the neck, then shot by one of the officers. Grant was merely an unarmed citizen breaking up a fight. Instead, he ended up dying at the hands of a police officer. I know that these examples are of black men. But, it doesn't stop there. The poor and disenfranchised are subject to injustice as well--no matter what race or ethnicity you may be.
I must say that I still feel that our judicial system is the best around. But it is still flawed and imperfect. Is anything or anyone perfect? No! That doesn't mean that we should just accept a flawed system that jails and executes innocent citizens. Everyday that you get up, you strive to be better than the day before. That should be true of our judicial system as well. Who wants to get locked up for crimes that they didn't commit? Not me! Who wants to be executed for a crime they didn't commit? Definitely not me!
In Troy Davis' case, I believe that this man was innocent. The witnesses that have come forth changing or recanting their statements suggest so as well. I know that they're countless inmates in prison with claims of being innocent of the crimes that they have been charged with. I'm well aware that some or most of the them are full of it. But lets not be naive to the fact that there are not people sitting in jail/prison who are actually innocent. Of course there are! That isn't justice when an innocent individual is sitting in a cell for a crime that they didn't commit. Actually, that's a tragedy. Some have tweeted me on twitter for my beliefs in Troy Davis. Fact is, many people have been exonerated after sitting in prison for years after it came to light that the individual was actually innocent. So I, and all of the Troy Davis supporters out there are not crazy for supporting and believing in this mans innocence.
Please do not make the mistake of not educating yourself and your family on social issues. These issues do concern you and everyone around you. If you've ever been to any courthouse across America you would probably see Lady Justice with the scales even in her right hand and a blindfold over her eyes. This is to signify that justice is blind and it dishes out justice regardless of race, gender, or class. Be careful, because I think she's peeking over her blindfold.
~R.I.P. Troy Davis October 9, 1968-September 21, 2011 murdered by the State of Georgia by lethal injection.
Monday, September 5, 2011
The Mirror That America Refuses To Look At
November 4, 2008 is a date that will forever be etched in my memory. It's the day that my father never thought he would've seen. It was the day that my father said that I would probably never see. And to be honest, as I matured in years, I started to believe that my father was right. But on that day, America elected Barack Hussein Obama as its 44th President, making him the first African-American to be elected President. Tears just streamed down my face as the montage and music played, showing various pictures of President-Elect Obama. That was by far my most proudest moment as a black man. Through my eyes, years of struggle, pain, oppression, feeling inadequate, and the sacrifice of so many of my ancestors became vindicated. It sent a message to little black boys (and girls) that we can be anything that we wanted to be.
But of course, when you become the first African-American President of the United States of America, you're going to encounter skepticism that probably no other man holding that position has had to endure. Even as Senator Obama promoted change to the face of this nation while campaigning, not everybody was ready for the change that was inevitable. In the documentary By The People: The Election of Barack Obama; there are parts where people (not African-Americans) were holding stuffed monkeys saying that they didn't want anybody who looked like that (referring to the monkey) running their country. I've heard many racial derogatory terms, but, when an African-American is referred to as a monkey or an ape, it does something to me. Reason being, is because it is meant to directly refer to us as less than, or, not human. I actually two-pieced (two punches to the face) a Spanish kid in Spain for calling me a monkey. I still remember the rage and the disrespect that I felt at that moment.
Throughout time, African-Americans have been viewed as inadequate by many in regards to performing certain jobs. We were, and still are to a degree, thought of as inferior intellectually. Even in sports, blacks have historically been deemed not fit to perform as quarterbacks, coaches, and in upper management positions. Not because they were evaluated and people came to these conclusions. But, just because of their skin color. We've come a long way, but still have so much farther to advance.
When Senator Obama burst onto the scene, it was clear that this guy was for real, and was a viable candidate for the presidency. He could articulate himself with the best and not sound like he was forcing himself to be who he was not. But many passed his expanded vocabulary and extraordinary use of diction as him using "fancy words." Being a black man myself, I find each day that we live a damn if you do, damn if you don't type of lifestyle. Yet, I pray that black men continue to strive for degrees from universities, rather than striving for prison sentences.
I understand that not all people are going to support President Obama, or even agree with some of his policies. I get that! But to dislike the man just because he is African-American is another thing. Let me say this--I learned a long time ago that if you have a fraction of African-American blood in you, then that's just what you are--African-American. That's just the way the world and society views you, at least. That's why I'll never refer to President Obama as half black or mixed. If it weren't true, then people wouldn't parallel President Obama to a monkey, being that he's half white. And if you haven't noticed, I make it a point to call him by his title--President Obama. I've never seen a president referred to (in the media) by just his last name as much as President Obama has been. Even the inept (in my opinion) President George W. Bush received more respect in that regard.
Speaking of respect. What president has been blatantly disrespected such as our current president? I'll answer that for you--NO ONE! What president do you know that has been called a liar as he addressed Congress and the Nation by his own people? What president do you know that has been called a tar baby? I don't care how anyone tries to dress it up or explain it. The phrase tar baby is a racial reference--PERIOD! I commend President Obama how he has handled these things because Lord knows that I would be beside myself.
I do not think that President Obama is a perfect man by far. But, the time has come for America to look itself in the mirror to fix its blemishes. I know that the mirror can be revealing. But how can you know what needs to be fixed until you look that mirror face on? America is indeed the greatest place in the world to call home. Still America still has great faults, and a history that cannot be ignored. The time for atonement is now! As an American, one thing that saddens me is that not all Americans look upon each other with love. I know that I may never see it, but, my prayer is for color to be abstract from one's view totally. We are a nation of many cultures, ethnicity's, and races. That's what makes America a wonderful and such a unique place to call home. Why can't we live and love each other totally?
"God has a way of standing before the nations with judgement, and it seems that I can hear God saying to America; you're too arrogant, if you don't change your ways, I will rise up and break the backbone of your power and I'll place it in the hands of a nation that doesn't even know my name. Be still and know, that I'm God.' ~Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
But of course, when you become the first African-American President of the United States of America, you're going to encounter skepticism that probably no other man holding that position has had to endure. Even as Senator Obama promoted change to the face of this nation while campaigning, not everybody was ready for the change that was inevitable. In the documentary By The People: The Election of Barack Obama; there are parts where people (not African-Americans) were holding stuffed monkeys saying that they didn't want anybody who looked like that (referring to the monkey) running their country. I've heard many racial derogatory terms, but, when an African-American is referred to as a monkey or an ape, it does something to me. Reason being, is because it is meant to directly refer to us as less than, or, not human. I actually two-pieced (two punches to the face) a Spanish kid in Spain for calling me a monkey. I still remember the rage and the disrespect that I felt at that moment.
Throughout time, African-Americans have been viewed as inadequate by many in regards to performing certain jobs. We were, and still are to a degree, thought of as inferior intellectually. Even in sports, blacks have historically been deemed not fit to perform as quarterbacks, coaches, and in upper management positions. Not because they were evaluated and people came to these conclusions. But, just because of their skin color. We've come a long way, but still have so much farther to advance.
When Senator Obama burst onto the scene, it was clear that this guy was for real, and was a viable candidate for the presidency. He could articulate himself with the best and not sound like he was forcing himself to be who he was not. But many passed his expanded vocabulary and extraordinary use of diction as him using "fancy words." Being a black man myself, I find each day that we live a damn if you do, damn if you don't type of lifestyle. Yet, I pray that black men continue to strive for degrees from universities, rather than striving for prison sentences.
I understand that not all people are going to support President Obama, or even agree with some of his policies. I get that! But to dislike the man just because he is African-American is another thing. Let me say this--I learned a long time ago that if you have a fraction of African-American blood in you, then that's just what you are--African-American. That's just the way the world and society views you, at least. That's why I'll never refer to President Obama as half black or mixed. If it weren't true, then people wouldn't parallel President Obama to a monkey, being that he's half white. And if you haven't noticed, I make it a point to call him by his title--President Obama. I've never seen a president referred to (in the media) by just his last name as much as President Obama has been. Even the inept (in my opinion) President George W. Bush received more respect in that regard.
Speaking of respect. What president has been blatantly disrespected such as our current president? I'll answer that for you--NO ONE! What president do you know that has been called a liar as he addressed Congress and the Nation by his own people? What president do you know that has been called a tar baby? I don't care how anyone tries to dress it up or explain it. The phrase tar baby is a racial reference--PERIOD! I commend President Obama how he has handled these things because Lord knows that I would be beside myself.
I do not think that President Obama is a perfect man by far. But, the time has come for America to look itself in the mirror to fix its blemishes. I know that the mirror can be revealing. But how can you know what needs to be fixed until you look that mirror face on? America is indeed the greatest place in the world to call home. Still America still has great faults, and a history that cannot be ignored. The time for atonement is now! As an American, one thing that saddens me is that not all Americans look upon each other with love. I know that I may never see it, but, my prayer is for color to be abstract from one's view totally. We are a nation of many cultures, ethnicity's, and races. That's what makes America a wonderful and such a unique place to call home. Why can't we live and love each other totally?
"God has a way of standing before the nations with judgement, and it seems that I can hear God saying to America; you're too arrogant, if you don't change your ways, I will rise up and break the backbone of your power and I'll place it in the hands of a nation that doesn't even know my name. Be still and know, that I'm God.' ~Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
Monday, August 1, 2011
I Thought We Were Going Our Separate Ways?
This is a topic I'm not particularly fond of. I say that, because, the court system is not set up for men regarding the dissolution of divorces. Before anyone thinks that this is coming from a bitter divorced man, think again. The opinions I'm about to express have been shaped long before I got married, then divorced. This blog comes at the heels of Boxer Shane Mosely's divorce settlement being made public. In case you haven't heard, Shane Mosely must give his ex-wife his three title belts, in which she is to turn them over to their three children upon them turning 18. Not only that, he owes her half of what he made from his boxing DVD's, half of his American Express points which is valued at 854,410 points. Oh, it doesn't stop there! He also owes her $20,000 a month in spousal support (not child support). Here are the things factored in that he must provide "support" for: her clothes, message therapist, jewelry, cosmetics, and personal trainer. This all for a woman who was Shane Mosely's manager in addition to being his wife. I mention her being a manager because that means she has the ability to work and provide for herself.
Some women who do not want to keep it real, or, just want to be combative or naive will argue when I say that divorce court is set up for women. Just google some divorce settlements and you'll see. Some women are probably already having fits thinking of all the things a woman should be entitled to upon a divorce. What happened to when we go our separate ways, we separate physically and financially? I am not talking about child support. This is strictly about spousal support and such. So please don't twist my words into something that I am not saying. After the assets of a divorcing couple is divided up equally, the only other thing I feel a woman should walk away with is her maiden name, if she chooses to. Once again, let me stress that I am not talking about child support. Some people (women mainly), feel that when a man has to pay up in a divorce settlement, it's because he did something to have to pay up. Not true! A divorce can simply be dissolved for irreconsolible differences and a man can be "taken to the cleaners." For those who may not know, irreconsolible differences means that no one is at fault for the marriage coming to an end. Such was the case in Shane Mosely's divorce case. Of course this reaches another level when you're talking about high profile divorces, or, divorce cases of wealthy couples.
A close friend of mine posted the story about Shane Mosely in a group on Facebook, and of course a spirited debate ensued between the men and women. One of my main points was why is she entitled to his title belts that he trained for, fought for, and ultimately won? She did not do any of the following: throw a punch at an opponent, run 1 mile while training for a fight, get hit by an opposing fighter during a fight, stick to a strict diet in order to stay in top shape that it takes to be a professional boxer. Who is she, or the courts to say that she gets his title belts that he worked so hard to attain? Some women were misconstruing my stance that she shouldn't get the belts for that I felt like the kids didn't deserve anything. That couldn't be any further from the truth. First of all, what does the title belts have to do with him taking care of the children? I'll answer that for you--absolutlely nothing! Secondly, Shane Mosely worked to get those belts for the betterment of HIS career. This may sound harsh--but if his children want title belts of their own, then they need to do what it takes in order to obtain such belts. If Shane Mosely wants to give his children the belts then I believe that that is totally up to him. My ultimate point about the belts is that they hold no bearing in him taking care of the kids.
Women today love to refer to themselves as independent (including married women). Some women who marry rich or financially wealthy men, get so caught up in what they don't have to do anymore that they lose themselves. And since we're keeping it real, some women marry wealthy men so they don't have to do anything anymore. To me, independence comes from finding your own niche from within yourself and capitalize on your own God given ability. Not what those so-called "Basketball Wives" do. When I married my ex-wife, I married her because I loved her and I wanted to be with her. I didn't care what she would possibly become in the future, or, if she had an inheiritance. If she was worth $100 million dollars upon our divorce, I would not want one dime from her. In my opinion, it is double dipping to receive support upon a divorce. Were you not being taken care of while you were married? Take the divorce of Tiger Woods. Now, I know he is a special case. But just listen to the point I am about to bring to the table. You and I know very well that his ex-wife didn't have to work nor did she want for nothing. I'm positive that she had cash at her disposal whenever she wanted. And if I'm not mistaken, when they married, Tiger bought her a multi-million dollar yacht. Let me say that again--he bought HER a multi-million dollar yacht. That means that if they divorce, it's hers along with anything else he may have given her or bought her. Now Tiger may not be the best example to use because of the circumstances involving his divorce, but I hope you see where I'm going.
So to the fellas: that famous phrase it's cheaper to keep her couldn't be more true. It almost seems like you must take the necessary precautions from getting taken to the cleaners in case you end up in divorce court. The days when people fell in love and got married without a care of what may happen (divorce) are over. Your spouse to be may get mad, but, drawing up a prenuptial agreement looks like a must nowawadays. If they truly love you, then they wouldn't have a problem with that, right?
Some women who do not want to keep it real, or, just want to be combative or naive will argue when I say that divorce court is set up for women. Just google some divorce settlements and you'll see. Some women are probably already having fits thinking of all the things a woman should be entitled to upon a divorce. What happened to when we go our separate ways, we separate physically and financially? I am not talking about child support. This is strictly about spousal support and such. So please don't twist my words into something that I am not saying. After the assets of a divorcing couple is divided up equally, the only other thing I feel a woman should walk away with is her maiden name, if she chooses to. Once again, let me stress that I am not talking about child support. Some people (women mainly), feel that when a man has to pay up in a divorce settlement, it's because he did something to have to pay up. Not true! A divorce can simply be dissolved for irreconsolible differences and a man can be "taken to the cleaners." For those who may not know, irreconsolible differences means that no one is at fault for the marriage coming to an end. Such was the case in Shane Mosely's divorce case. Of course this reaches another level when you're talking about high profile divorces, or, divorce cases of wealthy couples.
A close friend of mine posted the story about Shane Mosely in a group on Facebook, and of course a spirited debate ensued between the men and women. One of my main points was why is she entitled to his title belts that he trained for, fought for, and ultimately won? She did not do any of the following: throw a punch at an opponent, run 1 mile while training for a fight, get hit by an opposing fighter during a fight, stick to a strict diet in order to stay in top shape that it takes to be a professional boxer. Who is she, or the courts to say that she gets his title belts that he worked so hard to attain? Some women were misconstruing my stance that she shouldn't get the belts for that I felt like the kids didn't deserve anything. That couldn't be any further from the truth. First of all, what does the title belts have to do with him taking care of the children? I'll answer that for you--absolutlely nothing! Secondly, Shane Mosely worked to get those belts for the betterment of HIS career. This may sound harsh--but if his children want title belts of their own, then they need to do what it takes in order to obtain such belts. If Shane Mosely wants to give his children the belts then I believe that that is totally up to him. My ultimate point about the belts is that they hold no bearing in him taking care of the kids.
Women today love to refer to themselves as independent (including married women). Some women who marry rich or financially wealthy men, get so caught up in what they don't have to do anymore that they lose themselves. And since we're keeping it real, some women marry wealthy men so they don't have to do anything anymore. To me, independence comes from finding your own niche from within yourself and capitalize on your own God given ability. Not what those so-called "Basketball Wives" do. When I married my ex-wife, I married her because I loved her and I wanted to be with her. I didn't care what she would possibly become in the future, or, if she had an inheiritance. If she was worth $100 million dollars upon our divorce, I would not want one dime from her. In my opinion, it is double dipping to receive support upon a divorce. Were you not being taken care of while you were married? Take the divorce of Tiger Woods. Now, I know he is a special case. But just listen to the point I am about to bring to the table. You and I know very well that his ex-wife didn't have to work nor did she want for nothing. I'm positive that she had cash at her disposal whenever she wanted. And if I'm not mistaken, when they married, Tiger bought her a multi-million dollar yacht. Let me say that again--he bought HER a multi-million dollar yacht. That means that if they divorce, it's hers along with anything else he may have given her or bought her. Now Tiger may not be the best example to use because of the circumstances involving his divorce, but I hope you see where I'm going.
So to the fellas: that famous phrase it's cheaper to keep her couldn't be more true. It almost seems like you must take the necessary precautions from getting taken to the cleaners in case you end up in divorce court. The days when people fell in love and got married without a care of what may happen (divorce) are over. Your spouse to be may get mad, but, drawing up a prenuptial agreement looks like a must nowawadays. If they truly love you, then they wouldn't have a problem with that, right?
Monday, July 4, 2011
Light Skin vs. Dark Skin: Is It Really That Serious
Many of you probably already know my discontent regarding this topic. Within society, the issue of light skin vs. dark skin has always been a conversation piece. People have literally drawn a line in the sand about what they prefer, and ABSOLUTELY will not deviate from it. I know that everyone has preferences and I'm cool with that. Hell, even I have a preference when it comes to the opposite sex. But, I also am versatile and will not subject myself to what I prefer only. My preference is light skin women, but I love dark skin women as well! I also love other races and ethnicities, but that's a totally different topic.
For years black men have been given grief for favoring light skinned females with "good hair" over dark skinned females. I put good hair in quotation marks because everyone has their own definition of what good hair is. At the same time many women have claimed to want a tall, dark, and handsome man. For the most part, men have stayed consistent with preferring light skin black women through the years. All you have to do is watch a rap video, and most of them aren't even black. I don't know if it's me, but, it seems as if women have flip flopped back and forth between light skin men vs. dark skin men. There was once a time when guys my complexion and lighter had the advantage when it came to women. I call it the Al B Sure and El Debarge years. I'm just trying to figure out when the dark skin brothas took over. And no I will never call another man chocolate (in case some of you were wondering)! Was it the emergence of Wesley Snipes back in the early to mid 90's? Whatever it is, a lot of women are losing their minds over the dark skin fellas these days.
I wanna ask the ladies a question...Why do you subject yourselves (not all of you) to mainly one specific type of person? Whether it be a light skin man or dark skin man. Why am I specifically asking the ladies this question--it's pretty simple to me--women (black women in particular) constantly complain that there are no good men around. If that is the case, then why limit yourself to strictly a light skin or dark skin man? Your argument will automatically be null and void with me if you only date strictly one or the other, but complain about a shortage of good men. Don't worry ladies, I will address the fellas later. I understand wanting what you want and not settling, but, this to me is solely based on outside physical appearance. Is there something or some way that a dark skin man treats you so differently as opposed to a light skin man and vice versa? I've had women of my complexion and lighter tell me how much they love the dark skin brothas. This includes white women, mixed women, and women of other ethnicities. Since most of you say that you are looking for a man to accept you and treat you like a queen--I take it that (in your eyes), only one or the other provides that for you, right? So I ask you--is light or dark skin really that serious?
To take it back to me for a quick second. I've been given grief by females for years. Most women who aren't light skinned have always automatically judge me saying that they weren't my type because they weren't light skinned. Not true at all! Matter of fact, my ex-wife is darker skinned with short hair. Why does it seem that there is a double standard when it comes to men having preferences in women? I'm sure women are going to say that this isn't true, but, I'm not the only man that sees it this way.
I'll get off the ladies for a second. Onto the fellas now. Let me state once again that I do not hold it against people for having preferences. But I think that men preferring light skin women has caused issues and complexes in females for years. When you look at women in society who are considered beautiful, nine times out of ten they are light skinned. All the light skin women are getting all of the acting and modeling gigs. It's rare that you see a dark skinned woman gracing the cover of a magazine. Not to say that it doesn't happen, but, it's rare. I think that you can even say that because of years of men preferring light skinned women it affects little girls and their confidence. Why is that? Let's face it, it is a male dominated society, and these little girls see what society views as beautiful, and feel that if they're darker then they're not beautiful. And to add to that fact; I've heard boys when I was young and boys now call little girls ugly because they were dark. This plays a part in a young girls self-esteem growing up. Like or not, it does. I've encountered some beautiful darker skinned women that don't think they're beautiful because men have told them they were too dark. I do believe that self esteem is just that--SELF-esteem--but it doesn't hurt when others compliment you and tell you that you're attractive. Even if you already know it.
I'm asking all of you once again...is skin complexion really that serious? I've met some beautiful people physically (whether it be light skinned or dark skinned) that turned out to be some of the ugliest people intellectually, socially, and just not good people overall. That term "everything that glitters ain't gold" couldn't be more true. I understand the importance of being with someone that you're attracted to. I'll actually understand a person being with someone who isn't considered beautiful because they value how that person treats them. Like they say--beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And to be honest, a broken heart doesn't come with stipulations. What I mean by that is; even beautiful people break hearts too. So instead of focusing on if you're on team light skin or team dark skin--you might wanna consider being on team happy and treated well despite what complexion the person is.
For years black men have been given grief for favoring light skinned females with "good hair" over dark skinned females. I put good hair in quotation marks because everyone has their own definition of what good hair is. At the same time many women have claimed to want a tall, dark, and handsome man. For the most part, men have stayed consistent with preferring light skin black women through the years. All you have to do is watch a rap video, and most of them aren't even black. I don't know if it's me, but, it seems as if women have flip flopped back and forth between light skin men vs. dark skin men. There was once a time when guys my complexion and lighter had the advantage when it came to women. I call it the Al B Sure and El Debarge years. I'm just trying to figure out when the dark skin brothas took over. And no I will never call another man chocolate (in case some of you were wondering)! Was it the emergence of Wesley Snipes back in the early to mid 90's? Whatever it is, a lot of women are losing their minds over the dark skin fellas these days.
I wanna ask the ladies a question...Why do you subject yourselves (not all of you) to mainly one specific type of person? Whether it be a light skin man or dark skin man. Why am I specifically asking the ladies this question--it's pretty simple to me--women (black women in particular) constantly complain that there are no good men around. If that is the case, then why limit yourself to strictly a light skin or dark skin man? Your argument will automatically be null and void with me if you only date strictly one or the other, but complain about a shortage of good men. Don't worry ladies, I will address the fellas later. I understand wanting what you want and not settling, but, this to me is solely based on outside physical appearance. Is there something or some way that a dark skin man treats you so differently as opposed to a light skin man and vice versa? I've had women of my complexion and lighter tell me how much they love the dark skin brothas. This includes white women, mixed women, and women of other ethnicities. Since most of you say that you are looking for a man to accept you and treat you like a queen--I take it that (in your eyes), only one or the other provides that for you, right? So I ask you--is light or dark skin really that serious?
To take it back to me for a quick second. I've been given grief by females for years. Most women who aren't light skinned have always automatically judge me saying that they weren't my type because they weren't light skinned. Not true at all! Matter of fact, my ex-wife is darker skinned with short hair. Why does it seem that there is a double standard when it comes to men having preferences in women? I'm sure women are going to say that this isn't true, but, I'm not the only man that sees it this way.
I'll get off the ladies for a second. Onto the fellas now. Let me state once again that I do not hold it against people for having preferences. But I think that men preferring light skin women has caused issues and complexes in females for years. When you look at women in society who are considered beautiful, nine times out of ten they are light skinned. All the light skin women are getting all of the acting and modeling gigs. It's rare that you see a dark skinned woman gracing the cover of a magazine. Not to say that it doesn't happen, but, it's rare. I think that you can even say that because of years of men preferring light skinned women it affects little girls and their confidence. Why is that? Let's face it, it is a male dominated society, and these little girls see what society views as beautiful, and feel that if they're darker then they're not beautiful. And to add to that fact; I've heard boys when I was young and boys now call little girls ugly because they were dark. This plays a part in a young girls self-esteem growing up. Like or not, it does. I've encountered some beautiful darker skinned women that don't think they're beautiful because men have told them they were too dark. I do believe that self esteem is just that--SELF-esteem--but it doesn't hurt when others compliment you and tell you that you're attractive. Even if you already know it.
I'm asking all of you once again...is skin complexion really that serious? I've met some beautiful people physically (whether it be light skinned or dark skinned) that turned out to be some of the ugliest people intellectually, socially, and just not good people overall. That term "everything that glitters ain't gold" couldn't be more true. I understand the importance of being with someone that you're attracted to. I'll actually understand a person being with someone who isn't considered beautiful because they value how that person treats them. Like they say--beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And to be honest, a broken heart doesn't come with stipulations. What I mean by that is; even beautiful people break hearts too. So instead of focusing on if you're on team light skin or team dark skin--you might wanna consider being on team happy and treated well despite what complexion the person is.
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