I know that those of you who keep up with my blog have been looking for other blogs that I said I would be posting. Truth is, while writing some blogs, I get led to write about another topic that's on my heart. This time is no different. I kinda wanted to open up to you on this blog to give you a more personal look at the man Craig Wilson II. I have several blogs that are unfinished or just not posted because I was led to go in another direction. Maybe one day someone will collect my writings and post them all when I'm gone from this earth. But anyway...
Since I have started to share my personal thoughts and views with you through my blog, I have been rewarded greatly. No, not monetarily or anything. The feedback and support from people have been a blessing to me. It has strengthened and given me confidence in myself and my abilities. Something that I have lacked at times in my life (confidence). I grew up a shy kid, so confidence wasn't always my biggest attribute. Breaking out of this shell has been a slow process.
I'm a man of many interests and passions. Some of them include: cooking, writing, reading, sports, music, and my family. The state of black men and boys is a deep passion of mine as well. Or, the critical state of the black man, for that matter. Many may not realize it, but, we (black men) are quickly approaching the endangered species list as if we were cheetahs in the wilds of Africa. But let me go on because I can make this blog about that subject.
I've been blessed with the most wonderful, loving, and caring family that any individual would be proud to call family. I love and care for them very deeply. I could NEVER repay them for all that they have done for me. And I mean the entire Smith and Wilson Family. I wake up everyday and thank God for them because I have come to the realization that everyone hasn't been blessed with the kind of family that I have been blessed with. If I ever get in the position, I will do everything in my power to take care of my family. Lord knows that they all deserve it. This includes people who are not my blood relatives, but are my family still the same--they know exactly who they are.
Just like the rest of you, I am flawed but beautifully made. I know exactly where my strengths and weaknesses lie. I embrace them and try to improve on them daily. Many of us try to dismiss our weaknesses and focus on our strong points. The best way to strive for perfection is to master your imperfections. Not to say that the end product of you will be perfection--because I'm sure that I do not have to say that no one will ever be perfect except for our Father in Heaven. Here are some strengths and weaknesses of mine: I am passionate about loving and very loyal (almost to a fault). If I've ever told you that I love you once, I mean it for life. Regardless what may happen between us--I will love you still the same. I have the ability to be optimistic in any situation. Regardless of what you may think the outcome will be, I have strong faith that the Lord will ultimately take care of me and my needs. I'm very smart and respectful and I can basically blend in anywhere. On the flip side, I am a habitual procrastinator. That is the one thing that I cannot stand about myself and I work to change everyday. The other thing is that I am absolutely afraid of failing and disappointment. I'm more afraid of failing and disappointing my loved ones more than myself. To me there's nothing that hurts my soul more than to look into the eyes of a disappointed loved one, knowing that you caused it.
Since I am on the subject of failing and disappointment--I have never felt more disappointment and more like a failure then when I was going through my divorce. I felt like I failed myself, my children, my now ex-wife, my mother and father, my brother who looks up to me, and anybody who knew me and my ex-wife. I still feel that hurt to a certain degree because of the continued pain that my children have experienced due to the separation. I pray everyday for that feeling of failure to disappear from my heart. It's been a long process for me, but God heals a part of me everyday. In the past, failures and feeling like a failure has caused me to endure a depressed state of mind. So I ask that you guys pray for me as I rebuild myself and my life to a place that is comfortable to me and my family.
I am a softy at heart and there are a few things that will absolutely get to me. Those things are: 1) seeing or hearing my kids cry 2) seeing or hearing any woman that I love or is close to me cry 3) the abuse or murder of children 4) homeless/hungry people. It absolutely hurts my heart when I see someone who is in need of a meal, or a roof over their head, when I have both. I just feel like with the wealth that people have all over the world, there should be no souls hungry or looking for shelter from the cold and elements.
I really enjoyed taking a brief moment just to give you a quick look at me. I pray that all of you who read and support me are blessed beyond your thoughts and imagination. Standing rooted in faith will take you places that you never thought was possible. Believe me, I am a testimony to that in many retrospects. Keep your dreams and visions near to your heart where you will feed them with your hard work, dedication, and faith. It's okay if no one sees your dream like you do. God placed it in your heart for a reason. Nurture it and never let it go. God bless and I love you all!
