This is a topic I'm not particularly fond of. I say that, because, the court system is not set up for men regarding the dissolution of divorces. Before anyone thinks that this is coming from a bitter divorced man, think again. The opinions I'm about to express have been shaped long before I got married, then divorced. This blog comes at the heels of Boxer Shane Mosely's divorce settlement being made public. In case you haven't heard, Shane Mosely must give his ex-wife his three title belts, in which she is to turn them over to their three children upon them turning 18. Not only that, he owes her half of what he made from his boxing DVD's, half of his American Express points which is valued at 854,410 points. Oh, it doesn't stop there! He also owes her $20,000 a month in spousal support (not child support). Here are the things factored in that he must provide "support" for: her clothes, message therapist, jewelry, cosmetics, and personal trainer. This all for a woman who was Shane Mosely's manager in addition to being his wife. I mention her being a manager because that means she has the ability to work and provide for herself.
Some women who do not want to keep it real, or, just want to be combative or naive will argue when I say that divorce court is set up for women. Just google some divorce settlements and you'll see. Some women are probably already having fits thinking of all the things a woman should be entitled to upon a divorce. What happened to when we go our separate ways, we separate physically and financially? I am not talking about child support. This is strictly about spousal support and such. So please don't twist my words into something that I am not saying. After the assets of a divorcing couple is divided up equally, the only other thing I feel a woman should walk away with is her maiden name, if she chooses to. Once again, let me stress that I am not talking about child support. Some people (women mainly), feel that when a man has to pay up in a divorce settlement, it's because he did something to have to pay up. Not true! A divorce can simply be dissolved for irreconsolible differences and a man can be "taken to the cleaners." For those who may not know, irreconsolible differences means that no one is at fault for the marriage coming to an end. Such was the case in Shane Mosely's divorce case. Of course this reaches another level when you're talking about high profile divorces, or, divorce cases of wealthy couples.
A close friend of mine posted the story about Shane Mosely in a group on Facebook, and of course a spirited debate ensued between the men and women. One of my main points was why is she entitled to his title belts that he trained for, fought for, and ultimately won? She did not do any of the following: throw a punch at an opponent, run 1 mile while training for a fight, get hit by an opposing fighter during a fight, stick to a strict diet in order to stay in top shape that it takes to be a professional boxer. Who is she, or the courts to say that she gets his title belts that he worked so hard to attain? Some women were misconstruing my stance that she shouldn't get the belts for that I felt like the kids didn't deserve anything. That couldn't be any further from the truth. First of all, what does the title belts have to do with him taking care of the children? I'll answer that for you--absolutlely nothing! Secondly, Shane Mosely worked to get those belts for the betterment of HIS career. This may sound harsh--but if his children want title belts of their own, then they need to do what it takes in order to obtain such belts. If Shane Mosely wants to give his children the belts then I believe that that is totally up to him. My ultimate point about the belts is that they hold no bearing in him taking care of the kids.
Women today love to refer to themselves as independent (including married women). Some women who marry rich or financially wealthy men, get so caught up in what they don't have to do anymore that they lose themselves. And since we're keeping it real, some women marry wealthy men so they don't have to do anything anymore. To me, independence comes from finding your own niche from within yourself and capitalize on your own God given ability. Not what those so-called "Basketball Wives" do. When I married my ex-wife, I married her because I loved her and I wanted to be with her. I didn't care what she would possibly become in the future, or, if she had an inheiritance. If she was worth $100 million dollars upon our divorce, I would not want one dime from her. In my opinion, it is double dipping to receive support upon a divorce. Were you not being taken care of while you were married? Take the divorce of Tiger Woods. Now, I know he is a special case. But just listen to the point I am about to bring to the table. You and I know very well that his ex-wife didn't have to work nor did she want for nothing. I'm positive that she had cash at her disposal whenever she wanted. And if I'm not mistaken, when they married, Tiger bought her a multi-million dollar yacht. Let me say that again--he bought HER a multi-million dollar yacht. That means that if they divorce, it's hers along with anything else he may have given her or bought her. Now Tiger may not be the best example to use because of the circumstances involving his divorce, but I hope you see where I'm going.
So to the fellas: that famous phrase it's cheaper to keep her couldn't be more true. It almost seems like you must take the necessary precautions from getting taken to the cleaners in case you end up in divorce court. The days when people fell in love and got married without a care of what may happen (divorce) are over. Your spouse to be may get mad, but, drawing up a prenuptial agreement looks like a must nowawadays. If they truly love you, then they wouldn't have a problem with that, right?
